I'm becoming Catholic

2006-07-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

Church Search

How important is the church? Okay, maybe not the church itself, but the priest.

Since I've been back in Kansas City I've been searching for a Church. Each Sunday I've attended a different church in the area.

I've always liked this particular Catholic church in Independence. It's recently been redone and it is absolutely beautiful. Though I've been to this church for graduations, etc. I've never attended a service there so I decided to try it out. I still loved the church but was less than happy with the priest. He wasn't a bad priest, his homily was interesting, but I've definitely enjoyed other priests' more.

The next week I decided to pay a visit to my high school's parish, St. Mary's. It was weird. I thought it would feel familiar. A church where I had attended for four straight years. But it was the absolute opposite. The pews seemed unusually uncomfortable, I missed the instructions on going up for communion and not that it's an important factor, but it smelled funny.

This week I'm going to try a different church, there happens to be quite a few in the area. Maybe it's the ONE, or maybe I'll keep looking but either way I'm still attending services and the search for the right church is making the transition from covert to Catholic that much more interesting.

2006-06-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

I am Catholic

How do you sum up the most amazing experience of your life?

It's still hard for me to believe that it's over. Each week I go to church and take part in Eucharist, but I still feel like a visitor. For so long I've been attending mass, but not partaking in the most important part. The ability to receive the body and blood of Christ is the amazing reward of this whole experience, but I've realized more than anything that I still have a ways to go before I will truly be Catholic, in my mind.

You would think that after ten years of attending Catholic masses I would know the rituals and practices like the back of my hand, but studying them and practicing them are two different things.

It's time for me to become Catholic, not by studying Catholics but by being a practicing Catholic.

This has been an amazing journey, but I'm most excited about the journey that is just beginning.

2006-05-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

St. Elizabeth Ann

As part of my confirmation, I will take a saints name. This saint becomes the heavenly patron that I will set as my role model. My sponsor has been my "role model" throught the converting process, but as I begin my Catholic life, St. Elizabeth Ann will be my guide.

Just any saint would not do. Many Catholics pick a saint of a certain talent or profession, such as St. Thomas More, the patron saint of lawyers, or other saints with personal meaning in their lives. My sponsor, Lilla, whose family is from Sicily, chose the patron saint of Palermo, St. Roalia.

Looking through the hundreds of saints, I'd been partial to the name Elizabeth. Elizabeth is the middle name of my grandmother, who was raised Catholic and shares the same birthday with me. While there are multiple St. Elizabeth's, all with amazing lives, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton.

As I read through her profile online, I realized that I had found the perfect confirmation name.

Elizabeth Seton was the first American to be canonized, made a saint, by the Catholic Church.

Like myself, Elizabeth was not raised Catholic.

After the death of her husband, Elizabeth, who had inherited her husband's seven half-brothers and sisters, was deeply concerned about the spiritual life of her family and friends. Having moved the family to Italy in hopes of bettering her husbands faith, Elizabeth was introduced to the Catholic Church by friends.

Elizabeth's longing for the Bread of Life led her to join the Catholic Church.

While her life as a Catholic is just as intriguing as the events that led to her conversion, I was immediately comforted when I read the previous sentence.

She had a longing for the "Bread of Life." In the past month, I have been yearning for the day that I can receive Eucharist.

St. Elizabeth Ann will be the heavenly patron that will guide me through Catholic life.

2006-05-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Tick-Tock

In 17 days, I will stand in front of my family, friends and the Newman Center congregation and be anointed with the holy chrism of confirmation.

I don't think I'll realize that it's actually happening, that I will actually be Catholic, until afterward.

I've been trying to explain what the RCIA process is like and haven't been able to find the right words or description.

It all depends on the day, the topic and the mood that I'm in. Some days I leave class feeling overwhelmed with emotion and assured of my decision and other days I'm fighting to stay awake.

With only two class sessions and a retreat left, I hope that I will be more overwhelmed than put to sleep.

2006-04-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Beliefs

Someone recently asked me the following:
Do you see any differences between what you believe now and when you weren't Catholic in belief? Is it the doctrine or the aesthetics of worship that drew you? Was it something completely different?

I was trying to think about my beliefs when I "wasn't Catholic in belief" and cannot make a distinction between the two.

Only a few years older than I was in this picture, I began learning about Catholic beliefs and attending Catholic services.

At such a young age my beliefs were as simple as "I believe in God and Jesus. I pray before each meal and before I go to bed, because my parents tell me to."

My experience is different from others going through this same process.

For me, the Catholic church is comforting. For nine years I have attended Catholic services, participating in everything but Eucharist and have never felt forced to join or questioned for attending. They've allowed me to learn about their faith, undisturbed and on my own. After experiencing years of education and religious services, I realize that the comfort and spirituality that I have gained in the past nine years have led me to this conversion.

Could I have had the same experience if I had gone to a Mormon school or an Islamic school? Probably not. I do think that the similarity in religious beliefs between the Baptist faith and the Catholic faith made the transition easier, but had I never attended Catholic school and my parents had continued to attend Baptist church I do believe that my experience would be different if it even would have happened at all.

Who knows?

2006-04-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

Introduced to the Church

After months of learning about the faith and attending classes, I was presented to the community on Sunday.

As a group, we stood side-by-side with our sponsors behind us, their hand on our shoulder to comfort us.

All eyes were on us. It was intimidating to stand in front of the church with all eyes of the congregation on us as we were introduced by our RCIA leader and our sponsor.

Father Mark asked us what we asked of the Church.

Our response: "A deeper relationship with the Lord and full communion with the Church."

He again turned to us asking how the local church could help.

Our response: "With encouragement and spiritual guidance."

After having our eyes, lips, ears, shoulders, hands and feet signed with the cross, we were each presented with a Bible.

It seems like all of my life I've been studying the Bible. When my parents were no active in the Church, I attended Sunday school every week, reading scripture and discussing the message it is teaching us. After we broke away from the Church, I began attending Catholic school, studying almost every book of the Bible, memorizing them and writing term papers on the different Gospels, etc.

After years of studying the Bible, when we were discussing the readings from mass in our regular class period, I could not for the life of me find the books of Acts. In Sunday school I learned songs that helped us to memorize the books of the Bible in order. As I searched my new Bible, I recited these songs in my head, trying to at least figure out if Acts was in the Old Testament or the New Testament.

In this moment I realized that as much as I thought I had known about Catholicism from my eight years of schooling, just like the books of the Bible, I had forgotten parts to it and in many ways the meaning behind the scriptures.

Having given up on the scripture from Acts, I turned to the second reading from the Letter of John. As a read over the scripture one particular phrase stuck out in my mind.

And the victory that conquers the world is our faith.

No matter what happens with my relationship or the number of people that don't understand why I'm converting, my faith in Christ will keep me on the right track.

2006-04-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Easter

I experienced my first Catholic Easter this weekend. Although I'm still unable to receive Eucharist, it was an amazing experience just to attend a Catholic Easter Mass. Beautiful lilies and orchids surrounded the alter, where six large white candles were lit. In addition to the candles on the alter, each member of the congregation held a lit handle as they confirmed their baptism in the faith.

Spending my Easter weekend in Independence, I was able to attend my high school church for Easter services. St. Mary's, the church that I attended monthly for four years of my life, was now filled with members from the community instead of anxious high school students. Dressed in their Sunday best, including suits and hats, people of all generations spent their Easter Sunday in the Church confirming their baptismal vows.

It was an amazing experience. Sitting in the pew at St. Mary's, while those around me went forward to receive Eucharist, I realized how much I am looking forward to being a part of this community and being able to take Eucharist.

It seems like a miniscule thing, but the Eucharist is the action that mass is centered around and not being able to partake in it is depressing.

I'm ready and I cannot wait.

2006-04-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

Holy Week

Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday are the Church's busiest days of the year.
Marking the end of Lent and the beginning of Holy Week, Palm Sunday, a "Sunday of the highest rank," led to a full house.

I've been going to church services on a regular basis since I came to MU. Each Sunday at 8:50 p.m. a group of friends and I make our way from our sorority house to Newman, making it there just in time to grab a seat in the back row - not wanting to wind our way through the other pews where single seats remain. While there is a good turn-out for the 9 p.m. service, the six or seven of us don't usually have any difficulty finding seats.

This always changes on religious holidays.

On Ash Wednesday, we arrived ten minutes early, anticipating a crowd. Unlike the approximately 50 or 60 students that hadn't thought ahead, we sat on the stage at the back of the church while others lined the walls and crowded in the Church's entryway.

On Palm Sunday, the church was equally packed.

If you're not going to Church on a regular basis, does going on a religious holiday make up for it?

People from all different denominations and religions are drawn to churches on religious holidays. Easter, Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday - hundreds of people reserve their religious involvement to these select days.

Is going on certain days better than not going at all?
No matter what the religion, only attending on certain days is not encouraged, but it seems like they would rather have packed houses on religious holidays than not.

2006-04-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

Help.

Here are a few websites that have helped me during this process:

Catholic Online
http://www.catholic.org/

Catholic Answers
http://www.catholic.com/

The Vatican's Official Site
http://www.vatican.va/

2006-04-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

Should I Stay Or Should I Go.

The hope of the Church is not only to bring Christ into my life but to also add an active member to its community.

I'm from Independence, Mo., approximately a mile and a half West of Kansas City. In a year, when I graduate I plan to move back to Independence and create a life for myself.

In the approaching weeks, I will meet with my RCIA leader or one of the Newman Center priests and discuss why I want to be initiated into the Catholic Church and the gifts that I will contribute to the community.

Lisa, my RCIA leader, described "gifts" as musical abilities or desires to be a Eucharist minister. I do have aspirations of becoming more involved in the Church - but in my hometown, not Columbia.

Do I admit this during my discussion? After all, I am a student and not a permanent Columbia resident. My family and home are in Independence. Once I graduate I will have no reason to stay in Columbia. Should the Church be that important in my life that it would keep me here?

I think the most important thing would be that I want to join the faith. The church community is a factor, but my decision lies in my relationship with God, not with the Newman Center itself.

2006-03-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

Sponsorship.

The Church places a large emphasis on community. As I join the faith, the Church asks that I have a sponsor from the Catholic community to stand beside me through this process. A listener, a mentor and a friend.

Only one person crossed my mind: Lilla.

Lilla and I have been friends since sophomore year of high school. We've been teammates, roommates, and now sisters through our sorority. She is my best friend, the one person other than my parents who knows me better than I know myself. I can talk to her about anything and as questions fill my head each Sunday at RCIA, Lilla is there to give me answers.

I can ask her questions that I don't necessarily want to ask in a room with ten other people and she can give me an honest answer. It may not be the same response I would get from the Church, but it's her understanding and opinion.

I cannot imagine going through this process without her. She helps me to wake up for our 10:30 class on Sunday morning and provides me with comedic relief to get through the often tedious sessions.

2006-03-12T10:27:00.000-08:00

It's not about Mark.

On the first day of RCIA, we went around the room, introducing ourselves and explaining if we were there because we were interested in converting or just interested in the Catholic Church. At least three or four people said that they were there because their boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance was Catholic.

Yes, Mark, my boyfriend, is Catholic. No, this isn't about him. When you attend Catholic schools for eight years of your life it's more likely that you will meet a Catholic boy.

In the past three and a half years that I have been with Mark, we have only gone to church together once outside of an all school mass. This past Christmas, we decided it was time for him to meet my extended family. Every Christmas Eve, all of my aunts and uncles and cousins and second cousins get together to celebrate and exchange gifts. To make it fair, after spending a few hours with my family, we joined his family for midnight mass.

Does Mark being Catholic play into the many reasons that I am converting? Probably, but if Mark and I ended our relationship, next week or next year, I'd still be happy with my decision.

2006-03-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

Support.

All of my life my parents have supported me. When I decided to join the high school cheerleading squad, my parents made a point to attend every game. As a college freshman, when I decided to transfer to MU, my parents stood by me.

I've talked to them a time or two over the years about my interest in becoming Catholic, but haven't had a chance to explain the process of converting. I recently e-mailed them a link to my blog, giving them an opportunity to read about the process and keep up-to-date on what's going on.

A few hours later I received an e-mail from my dad. My dad and I have grown very close in the past few years. Whenever I need to talk to someone, I can count on him to answer his cell phone and make time to talk to me.

My dad grew up in a very active Southern Baptist family. His young brother and brother-in-law are preachers and his childhood was spent a lot like mine - being shuffled off to Church at least twice a week.

In his e-mail he talked about the importance of a spiritual life and no matter what Church I choose to be a member of, he known that it will be beneficial in my life.

My mom and I were able to spend the weekend together - a chance we rarely get. Over dinner we talked about the converting process and what to expect on Pentecost. We talked about the discussions that we've had at our RCIA meetings and I showed her the Newman Center.

While neither of them are considering joining the Catholic Church, they understand my yearning for a better spiritual life and have faith in my decision.

2006-02-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

Eucharist.

Once in middle school, at an all school mass, instead of crossing my arms over my chest and receiving a blessing, I held out my hands and received a blessed wafer. It was pasty, cold and entirely unpleasant. If the wafer and wine transform into the body and blood of Christ during Eucharist, couldn't they find something a little more better tasting?

I've never received the Eucharist since then and most of the time do not even go up for a blessing after an awful experience when a Eucharistic minister, someone who helps the priest in giving communion, mistook my sign for a blessing as wanting her to stick the wafer in my mouth.

2006-02-26T21:56:00.000-08:00

Sacraments.

With Ash Wednesday only a few days away and Lent to follow, sacraments were the main topic of today's meeting.

In middle school and high school, Lent was about giving something up - pop, junk food, bad language, etc. This weekend I was thinking about the different things that I could give up for Lent - fast food, television shows - but at our meeting this morning we discussed how sometimes adding something to your daily life could be better than giving something up. Lent is supposed to be a period of soul-searching and repentance, a time to reflect on your life and make sacrifices to remember the 40 days and 40 nights that Christ spent in the desert. Giving up "The O.C." is unlikely to help me reflect and remember Christ.

God is the provider. My personal relationship with God is based largely on appreciation of the life that he as provided for me. My family, friends, education, etc. are all things that I attribute to God's will. So, this year I am going to spent Lent expressing my thankfulness to those around me. Every week, sometimes twice a week, I'm going to focus on one person or aspect of my life and express my gratitude through a letter.

Encarta defines grace as an unearned favor, freely bestowed by God on individuals. Sacraments are consider the "vehicles of grace" and how better do receive grace than to do courteous favors for those we care about?

2006-02-19T12:47:00.000-08:00

The Bible.

In middle school, high school and even my first year of college I memorized, studied and read out loud passages from the Bible. I can still sing the song that helped me memorize the books of the Old Testament. "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy....." As much as I've studied the Bible, I don't think I'll ever be one of those people that has read the Bible cover-to-cover and can quote any other verse than John 3:16 or "In the beginning.."

To be a good Christian, Jew, Muslim, or even Jehovah's Witness, do you have to be able to be a walking Bible?

On June 4, when the initiation ceremony is performed, the Church will give me a Bible and it's highly likely I'll receive one as a gift from my family or my boyfriend's parents. Then what? It's something I want to keep, a physical symbol of my conversion process, I just haven't figured out what to do with it. Do I just put it on a bookshelf next to my textbooks? Should I buy a nifty case for it? Should I keep it in the drawer on my bedside table, like in a hotel?

I have a few months to figure out where to put it, but I can assure you that it will likely never be read cover-to-cover and although a part of me is ashamed, I don't think that you have to be a walking Bible or name every book in it.

2006-02-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

I met with the RCIA leader after class today to talk about my religious history and my reasons for wanting to join the faith.

It may sound ironic to say that I felt a bit uncomfortable talking to a stranger about all of this considering I'm blogging about it, but it's different when you're faced with questions that you're not sure how to answer, like "How would you describe your prayer life?"

Prayer and religion are very personal aspects of my life. This whole experience is very personal to me.

It's hard to explain why I want to be Catholic and the process that led me to converting. There are so many emotions and experiences that factor into my decision. It's hard to pin point a specific time or person that influenced my decision. It's been something in the back of my mind for the past nine years and when the opportunity arose it suddenly seemed like the perfect time and for once I felt that I could do it without questioning myself.

And here I am, answering these questions to assure not only the Church of my reasoning but also myself.

2006-02-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

I've taken my first step toward becoming Catholic. I went to a Rites of Catholic Initiation for Adults class on Sunday.

Over the next few months I will learn about the rituals, sacraments and teachings of the Catholic church in preparation for Pentecost, June 4th, when I will be officially admitted to the Church.

While my eight years of Catholic education have taught me most of this information, I'm interested in learning about it at a church that takes a more contemporary approach to Catholicism, as the Newman Center does and with a group of people my age going through the same process.

2006-02-04T17:30:00.000-08:00

Some of my earliest childhood memories take place in church. Sunday school, potluck dinners, choir practice, vacation bible school, music programs, etc. My dad's whole side of the family went to the same church and three of my uncles were Baptist preachers. Our entire lives revolved around the church. My mom, raised Methodist but then converted upon marrying my father, led the adult and youth choir. I can remember watching her and my brother standing on the stage and performing duets during Sunday services. My grandmother and my mom were always busy cooking casseroles and bunt cakes for the Wednesday potluck dinners. My dad was Santa Claus for the annual Christmas program every year of my childhood. My baby shower was held in the basement of the church. Church, and Baptist Church at that, was all I knew.

At eleven years old this all changed. There was a scandal involving the pastor and in the end he left and so did we.

For the next few years, we attended other churches in our area, but the family and community connections that kept us involved at our first church could be recreated. Though religion remained a large part of my life, still praying nightly before going to bed and at every meal, as I entered a private Catholic middle school my religious practices morphed into those I was learning at school and from my new Catholic friends.

Over the next few years, into high school and then college, I began to consider myself more of a Catholic than the Baptist I was raised.

Now, almost ten years after my initiation into the Baptist church, I'm beginning my journey to becoming a member of the Catholic Church.