Eucharist.

Once in middle school, at an all school mass, instead of crossing my arms over my chest and receiving a blessing, I held out my hands and received a blessed wafer. It was pasty, cold and entirely unpleasant. If the wafer and wine transform into the body and blood of Christ during Eucharist, couldn't they find something a little more better tasting?

I've never received the Eucharist since then and most of the time do not even go up for a blessing after an awful experience when a Eucharistic minister, someone who helps the priest in giving communion, mistook my sign for a blessing as wanting her to stick the wafer in my mouth.

Sacraments.

With Ash Wednesday only a few days away and Lent to follow, sacraments were the main topic of today's meeting.

In middle school and high school, Lent was about giving something up - pop, junk food, bad language, etc. This weekend I was thinking about the different things that I could give up for Lent - fast food, television shows - but at our meeting this morning we discussed how sometimes adding something to your daily life could be better than giving something up. Lent is supposed to be a period of soul-searching and repentance, a time to reflect on your life and make sacrifices to remember the 40 days and 40 nights that Christ spent in the desert. Giving up "The O.C." is unlikely to help me reflect and remember Christ.

God is the provider. My personal relationship with God is based largely on appreciation of the life that he as provided for me. My family, friends, education, etc. are all things that I attribute to God's will. So, this year I am going to spent Lent expressing my thankfulness to those around me. Every week, sometimes twice a week, I'm going to focus on one person or aspect of my life and express my gratitude through a letter.

Encarta defines grace as an unearned favor, freely bestowed by God on individuals. Sacraments are consider the "vehicles of grace" and how better do receive grace than to do courteous favors for those we care about?

The Bible.

In middle school, high school and even my first year of college I memorized, studied and read out loud passages from the Bible. I can still sing the song that helped me memorize the books of the Old Testament. "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy....." As much as I've studied the Bible, I don't think I'll ever be one of those people that has read the Bible cover-to-cover and can quote any other verse than John 3:16 or "In the beginning.."

To be a good Christian, Jew, Muslim, or even Jehovah's Witness, do you have to be able to be a walking Bible?

On June 4, when the initiation ceremony is performed, the Church will give me a Bible and it's highly likely I'll receive one as a gift from my family or my boyfriend's parents. Then what? It's something I want to keep, a physical symbol of my conversion process, I just haven't figured out what to do with it. Do I just put it on a bookshelf next to my textbooks? Should I buy a nifty case for it? Should I keep it in the drawer on my bedside table, like in a hotel?

I have a few months to figure out where to put it, but I can assure you that it will likely never be read cover-to-cover and although a part of me is ashamed, I don't think that you have to be a walking Bible or name every book in it.

I met with the RCIA leader after class today to talk about my religious history and my reasons for wanting to join the faith.

It may sound ironic to say that I felt a bit uncomfortable talking to a stranger about all of this considering I'm blogging about it, but it's different when you're faced with questions that you're not sure how to answer, like "How would you describe your prayer life?"

Prayer and religion are very personal aspects of my life. This whole experience is very personal to me.

It's hard to explain why I want to be Catholic and the process that led me to converting. There are so many emotions and experiences that factor into my decision. It's hard to pin point a specific time or person that influenced my decision. It's been something in the back of my mind for the past nine years and when the opportunity arose it suddenly seemed like the perfect time and for once I felt that I could do it without questioning myself.

And here I am, answering these questions to assure not only the Church of my reasoning but also myself.

I've taken my first step toward becoming Catholic. I went to a Rites of Catholic Initiation for Adults class on Sunday.

Over the next few months I will learn about the rituals, sacraments and teachings of the Catholic church in preparation for Pentecost, June 4th, when I will be officially admitted to the Church.

While my eight years of Catholic education have taught me most of this information, I'm interested in learning about it at a church that takes a more contemporary approach to Catholicism, as the Newman Center does and with a group of people my age going through the same process.

Some of my earliest childhood memories take place in church. Sunday school, potluck dinners, choir practice, vacation bible school, music programs, etc. My dad's whole side of the family went to the same church and three of my uncles were Baptist preachers. Our entire lives revolved around the church. My mom, raised Methodist but then converted upon marrying my father, led the adult and youth choir. I can remember watching her and my brother standing on the stage and performing duets during Sunday services. My grandmother and my mom were always busy cooking casseroles and bunt cakes for the Wednesday potluck dinners. My dad was Santa Claus for the annual Christmas program every year of my childhood. My baby shower was held in the basement of the church. Church, and Baptist Church at that, was all I knew.

At eleven years old this all changed. There was a scandal involving the pastor and in the end he left and so did we.

For the next few years, we attended other churches in our area, but the family and community connections that kept us involved at our first church could be recreated. Though religion remained a large part of my life, still praying nightly before going to bed and at every meal, as I entered a private Catholic middle school my religious practices morphed into those I was learning at school and from my new Catholic friends.

Over the next few years, into high school and then college, I began to consider myself more of a Catholic than the Baptist I was raised.

Now, almost ten years after my initiation into the Baptist church, I'm beginning my journey to becoming a member of the Catholic Church.